Sharpay Evans

since this is a blog about lowbrow art just as much as it is about highbrow art, please allow me to flex my lowbrow.

 

i’m not *entirely* sure what’s wrong with me, but for some reason i have yet to experience the brilliance that can only be Sharpay’s fabulous adventure.  but! if it’s as horribly cheesingly drippingly fabulous as the HSM2 song ‘fabulous’ i am ALL OVER THAT MESS.

it’s rather rare that disney designs a blonde haired, pink loving ditz as the ‘antagonist’.  but i must admit i’ve got a few questions.

• why do troy and gabriella’s lame ballads always win over sharpay and ryan’s upbeat pop songs?
• why is sharpay compelled to steal kelsi’s music?
• is chad aware of the irony of his actions during the ‘i don’t dance’ sequence?
• i mean, has he been aware of what he’s been doing for the past 1.5 movies or what?
• since tiara’s role is fairly superfluous, was her introduction into the franchise a way of protagonizing sharpay in order to ensure the success of her spin-off?
• why doesn’t sharpay have any friends [besides the 'girls' at lava springs] ?
• who wouldn’t be annoyed if you spent your entire high school career basically running the drama department only to have a jock and a new girl to upstage you?

Winter Muses

I happen to be lucky enough to have several jobs, one of them allows me to spend all day outdoors in the winter time. It’s a bloody good thing I love winter!  Winter-haters have never spent their brisk cold sunny days outside cross-country skiing or snowshoeing.  No, not alpine or snowboarding [boring and ridiculously expensive]. Skiing around our vast network of trails, I also happen to see a great many things.  Like trees!  Thousands of them.  In their wisdom and silence, they stand in mortal beauty.  Unfortunately, many are at the mercy of the greedy hands of Homo Sapiens.

Birch bark IS a real treasure – I can understand why Scandinavians cherish the birch tree for their myriad of uses.  But peeling off their skin?  Not cool.  I pass by this particular specimen everyday during job #2 and am deeply saddened.

This tree doesn’t need or want my help, or anyone’s for that matter.  It really just wants to be left the fuck alone to heal.  But my artist ego cries out ‘inspired!’.  It is not my job to change the landscape – my ego isn’t THAT inflated, but I do feel compelled to comment on it.  Like, ‘hey asshole go back to montreal and stop destroying our environment’.  Too harsh?

In any case, I’ve commenced a Yarnbomb for this tree!  It happens to stand at an intersection of trails – that is the Aerobic Corridor, the Portageur, and the Birkbeiner.

These are just some of the colours that may or may not make it into the Bomb, or, tree cozy.  Hopefully this artificial bark sweater will quell the prying hands of the unknown thieves, but also provide some sort of humorous element to the skiing experience.  All in all, ski people are good people.  I’m just here to spice up the highway a bit.  The materials I’ve chosen are more for layering and colouring ability, less so trying to replicate the unique papery texture.  Linen and mercerized cottons would be better suited on that front, but I think by making a base in beige, and layering strips of stockinette coloured pieces on top of one another would successfully translate as bark-like.  I guess we’ll see!

Here are some photos I’ve taken of other nearby silver birches as inspiration for this tag.  [Note the layers where others have taken the liberty to steal some tree skin.  LEAVE THE TREES BE!]

I’ve Said This Before.

but in case you weren’t listening —-

 

IGNORE ALIEN ORDERS

being so successful with last year’s resolutions [keeping all except 2 - that is moving to nyc and drawing everyday] that i’ve decided to push myself even further in 2012.  there’s a lot of eschatological clap trap floating around about 2012, so i’ve set the bar high – for myself and especially for the doomsdayers.  if you’re going to expect the apocalypse, i’m going to want to see a lot of the typical ‘get busy living’ action.  extreme zaniness.  real go-getters.  carpe diem.
so instead of the usual retrospective that i do, here’s a look forward – a toast to opportunity!

• DRAW EVERY DAY
• read 70 books [including infinite jest and tale of two cities to justify my reality tv addiction]
• participate in 4 shows
• win my k1 and mixed k2 races in halifax [this is going to be extremely difficult but with the right training i think i stand a good chance of achieving this]
• travel the american desert, GO TO UTAH <3 !!
• have the most kickass gardens and get the ducks going
• get my license and for the love of god don’t cause an accident
• learn to tat lace
• apply / study for chaplaincy certificate
• finish my tarot deck + get it printing
• stay on top of my liberal arts and history buffness
• STAY GOLD

In Defense of Throwing

Now that I’ve finally finished my degree in textile arts [I am no longer calling it fibres because no one knows what I’m talking about when I say this.  Mostly people think I’ve spent 4 years studying to be a dietitian.  At this point, it seems like that would have been the wiser choice.]

I was lucky to have learned how to knit from an instruction manual, because knitting wasn’t taught in the structures programs.  Neither was crochet or sewing.  But I did learn how to weave cloth and…baskets.  And because I wasn’t taught the ‘correct’ way to knit, I have spent the past 8 tender years as a ‘throw’ knitter.  For those of you who don’t know what throw knitting is, it is the method of knitting with the yarn held in the right hand, essentially ‘throwing’ the yarn for the new stitch over to the left hand to be knit.  It is considered inferior to the continental method, because it is the slightly lower method of knitting.  Granted, tension is better controlled through throwing, as both hands are used to control the yarn AND the stitch, instead of one for each. But as far as the debate is concerned – the divisive methods of knitting are about as logical as the Lilliputian war over how one’s eggs are cracked.  I know what I like and I am really good at throw knitting.  Like the rest of my artistic life, I would rather be awesome at sucking than suck at being awesome.

The problem with knitting is knitters.  Popular thought and craft respect is directly related to technical skill.  The only good knitters are those who knit well, who knit perfectly.  Imagination has little to do with the success of the project.  The determining factor is the degree of difficulty related to the project [and for the love of god, don’t even think of passing stockinette off as legitimate] and the final product.  You know what my problem with most knitters are?  Unless there’s something really progressive about the craft – like costuming or yarnbombing [I’m not just playing favourites, either] – it is so TWEE I want to vomit.  There.  I said it.  The kiss of death.  Contrary to popular hipster belief, doing something well isn’t going to make you a good artist, or any kind of artist.  Doing something badly isn’t going to make you an artist either [Damien Hirst and Tune Yards or whatever your name is, I’m looking at you].  Knit because you’re cold, or because you love a person and want to give them your heart.  Knit because you want your voice to be seen in broad daylight on Lexington Avenue.  Knit because you can’t imagine your life not knitting.

Or maybe you’re like me and would rather be crocheting.

THIS JUST IN

EVERY DAY IS SATANIC SATURDAY !

I Know The Passing Of Time

while we’re all anxiously anticipating the arrival of New Love,

here’s a photo from Givenchy’s SS11 Hommes collection

Heart, Attack

i’ll do graffiti if you sing to me in french

 

 

‘let you heart guide you’

‘your heart will skip a beat’

or 2 or 8

when picking hi-tempo tracks, it is easy to catch too easy onto hi-hat and snare beats that honestly send my heart onto some lunatic pattern.  how do you write a song like this?

circa 2004 the scene witnessed an influx of bands pouring beats out not unlike 200mg of amphetamines.  fade out bands like maxïmo park, bloc party, franz ferdinand, and panic! at the disco.  emo didn’t have to be ‘depressing’ in the traditional sense if it leaned towards the hardcore scene.  but then again, no one really cares about emo let alone emos.

except for the theatricality the genre adopted.  when intensely confessional, it may be seen as ‘easier’ to deploy heart attacks/ heart breaks when in costume and marrying all types of strings together.  it is kind of useless to source non-traditionally rock instruments in your video unless the band actually plays them.  in the song.  i don’t even hear a HINT of accordion in this track.

i have a weakness for this song because the singer has an exceptionally wide mouth and seems to have mastered selective warbling.

the cabaret theme is delectable in that is successfully distracts the viewer away from…the actually song.  narrative but not very corresponding.  dresden dolls took the cabaret / persona thread for far too long and has not been very popular since.

except

for the [un]fortunately [i can never tell 'good' from 'bad' here.  i'm going with un- here because they reeeeally deserve more recognition] underground The Dead Science with their album Villainaire.  more specifically the track Make Mine Marvel here we still have high tempo, a string section, and cabaret smoke rings but for some reason i don’t feel….dirty.  while Submariner had a strictly lounge feel to it, villainaire came and conquered cross crowns and remains a work of fiction?.without staying totalitarianistically true to the upbeat confessionals, they’ve managed to slip in silky interludes [as in Holliston and The Ghost Integrity] which is almost ‘experi/mental’

essentially bizarro and warbly and all i want to do is smoke cigarettes and drink gin and oh my god sam mickens is a dead ringer for my ex boyfriend.

the only other band that has successfully thrown me out of myself is my bloody valentine.

what sort of music makes you feel less like yourself than normal?

sirenomelie

for all those in the greater montreal area

DON’T BURN WITCHES

SEE A SHOW

the work is for sale but the event is FREE!

hope to see you there! [i'll be the girl with the sequins of course]

2 <3 1 <3

And you’re standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love

ever since i laid eyes on balenciaga’s ss10 collection i knew this summer was going to be a hot one.  i made this mess of a life inspired by the heat that permeates my skin when i see aqua/orange/white/pink.

[1] handful of silver sequins and nail polish i first saw on the hands of reqbat and knew had to be mine.

[2] pink and silver fluffy pencil case purchased from ardene 100000 years ago.  now holds sharpies for utmost deviance.

[3] hand printed cedric and omar of the mars volta.  made by the ever lovely i_rbg

[4] neon orange acrylic yarn for retina punching bombing.

said the spider to the fly [and other massacres]

There’s no hope for me,
I’ve been set free.
There’s no breeze,
There’s no ship on my sea.

bombing season is upon us

lady sonnabend only visits us when she’s in the mood

otherwise the heat gets to our head

and we pretend

she’s not a god but very close to one
i’me not acquainted with her well enough to distinguish her features
only that she can be mistaken for retinal floaters
dressed in black or silver
her son is called sun drunk

those who honour the false suffer the most

scared of arachne and ariadne

how else do you plan on freeing yourselves?

‘those whose views are not strange are false‘