bad at being a student a lover a daughter a blogger an older woman.
sure i celebrated a birthday with the adopted fam, spent the rest of the week stressed out and agitated due to schizoaffective unaltarable behaviour.  but in retrospect i am doing slightly better than i had originally thought.

this productivity of objections and ideals are propelled by school even though i have done little to pulse myselves forward in ~knowledge.

inspired by shamanism, subversive spirituality and our nu no age leaders i broke down in tears trying to explain why this day needed to be missed / mist.  there is a smaller love inside – fuck2love

swastika love

i was caught making this in class and got off it. for cheers and feers i am not kicked yet. yet.

smaller hearts made with handspun silk covered in raw fingers lusting to hide whatver i had to offer.

shaman heart

shaman heart

trading was the nature of the exercise but i still died inside as i surrendered the smallest kiss in the world. appreciation helps but never cures.


there’s a lot more where that came from – both product and experience.



snake making. my only method of present immortality. adding the weight with marbles with rocks.

maybe my present expressions are better backwards. it always ends up that way, i don’t know if i’ll ever get the hang of perfection freeform.

i am being hurried towards coerced celebrations of things i do not believe in, do not want.

stanic rosary

how much longer can i stand this?

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