migraine // glare

This week i had the honor of experiencing a migraine – a disease i’ve been subjected to since i was 6 or so.  quite probably the one event that throws me into the depths of psychosis.  there is no cure, other than extensive preventative therapy.  that is – making sure i am not stressed, dehydrated, or hungry – eying my caffeine, blood sugar and sleep levels.  i’ve been pretty good at it since june 2008, but i slipped up this week and went to class with a headache which very quickly turned into an episode.

not cool, my friends, not cool one bit.

i make it to the bus stop, crying crying crying
agony on the bus, fluorescent lights yelling at me, multiple body odours
walking down st v, muttering to to myself
leaning against cafe olympico, puking puking puking
‘somebody call this girl an ambulance?’


2 angels appear out of the woodwork of rat city with a styrofoam cup and a strong arm to lean on
all the way home
a sincere ‘thank you’ between bile and tears


i empty my stomach of everything i’ve consumed in the past month or so
climb into my bed squeezing my eyes shut praying for sleep
a fitful one that lasted till 5 am


you cannot spell PAINT without PAIN i foreshadowed myself a few days prior
insert zomby girl now

how i shuffle between intense hunger and nausea i’ll never know
drawing with sarge, sewing, and applying to craft shows gets my thru this week of behindness

migraine // heptagon

love, mandalas, and hildegard de bingen
the polymath, woman of the world. a christian mystic, composer, linguist, philosopher, scientist of 2nd century germany, her artwork of her visions contained complex geometries of man and nature. these cosmologies came to her, supposedly, through migraines and were an integral part of her Scivias.

i can only hope that i can learn from this finding – knowing that painting consists of more than just pain.

2 Comments to “Migraine”

  1. When I was at McGill I was getting a migraine once a week. They are brutal, I wouldn’t wish one on my worst enemy (if I had a worst enemy.) You have my sympathies.

    Interestingly, I found that when I was laid up trying to sleep of migraines, I would get really strange melodies in my head. Not worth the pain though, not ever.

  2. melodies! how strange…i only ever heard this terrible ringing – which in another frequency could have been a melody of sorts but not in this one.
    all i have seen are strange auras and bulbs of light, diagonally slashing vision. red green blue.
    i recently saw this wallpaper installed in a museum

    and it made me want to die

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