somewhere between structure and mark making is where i am sitting.
not quite something, but definitely not nothing, i’ve made my place. meditating on helminthophobia and geometry, i have found many different ways of researching the relationships of these ideas and methods in a way that is my own. for me, by me.
i know repetition. i know repetition. i know bravery, repetition and noise [anyone?].
this process of shuttling back and forth between the shape of the structure and the drawings inspired by the shapes formed by uncontrollable folding, pleating, and swearing was the most integral to the beginning of a creation of a real evolution. while i’m not quite there yet, and i’m still meddling with the definition of ‘artist’, this might be the closest i’ve come to it thus far. come to think of it, i say that a lot, so its definitely a process.
it all started with the introduction of modular origami to my life. i had never been interested in origami before, as the folding of insipid creatures out of paper never really appealed to me in a passionate way [not like the way crochet had / has]. but modular origami requires the intense repetition of folding the same shape – and that is something i fully know, understand, and appreciate from a structural / fibres background [knitting and crochet is ALL the repetition of the [almost] exact same action]. its the creation of small same units in order to create something larger – it is more than the sum of its parts.
well i certainly bit off more than i could chew making this disastrous tube. i wanted to create a worm / tube / monster, and that is exactly what happened. attaching each element to make a compound, then attaching compounds to compounds, my beast exploded into an extremely frustrating piece that i was not inspired at all to finish – also happens to be everyone’s favourite piece! of course. what a pain though – and the people sad when i took it apart at the end of the day, all i could think of was KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE [and not in the fun way]. i could not, cannot deal with the idea of it sitting in a corner of my studio, mocking me with its inherently evil intention [trying to externalize the worms, get them out, exorcize!]. its still in my bag. i cant even look at it right now.
[taken earlier this morning – its a hatful of hedra!]
these however, were an absolute BLAST to make. straight up and down hedra, it was a structure i could understand and track the evolution of my folding and insertion skills. i adapted the traditional PHiZZ style of folding into something i lovingly call ILhU style. 3 modules, 1 hexahedron. thats a structure i can get behind. can you believe these were inspired by lady gaga?
in working with and adapting these shapes [mainly the equilateral triangle and hexagon] i created these drawings!
these were really fun to make because i got to combine my love of patterning and narrative into one technique [more or less]. telling the incredibly personal story of my dreams was not meant to be interpreted by anyone other than me because only i am the one who knows, feels, and fears the worms. i was striving for movement with every line i made but recursively drew myself into static. a paper is a paper and is restrictive. but in defense of my size choices – i think no matter the size of the paper, if it were a mural or a pocket notebook, i would use it in such a way that would restrict the viewer. if it were the size of the tate modern, i would still fill the space till i were stuck inside it – and i would take you down with me.
in any case, i still feel like my drawings and installations exist more honestly as photographs. its a matter of the virgan need for control. there’s a lot more lightplay and impossible worldviews through the manipulated lens. these things are important to me. and you’re important to me.
new news is old news.
next up? i’m going to try and write a paper about the role of diabolical / mystical symbolism in printmaking [i’m still sourcing it out to see if its plausible – backup idea is a study of william blake and zine making]
power costumes [going to have to pull a miracle to make this work =/ ]
landscapes for a helminthophobe [i have full reign on this project and i am feeling really confident about]
here are the bases i’m working on [sans embellishment – i’ll write more about this on tuesday most likely]
wow that last one looks COMPLETELY different now than it does when i took that picture. lots of couching and applique. featuring :: fingernails! my [least] favourite human by product – lovingly dubbed ‘human ivory’ by someone on etsy somewhere. oh and the print is upside down.
and as treat for you, having suffered through this ridiculously long and process riddled entry, here’s a hot picture of me! and by hot i mean ‘wow its really hot under this wig’
and one last thing for all the former ghosties out there – freddy ruppert has released his RARE TRAX + DEMOS ! i recommend downloading it – i cannot stop listening to / obsessing over the talking heads cover. it sounds nothing like the original! brilliant!
MIND/BODY/LIGHT/SOUND 
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