fear of failure // fear of success

07 pentacles

there are no accidents.

as i have FINALLY begun beginning the tarot project – my first completed card is  VII PENTACLES.  fear of failure / fear of success.

it all began … a long time ago.  the idea has always stirred within me, but it wasn’t until i started reading crowley’s ‘book of thoth’, that i said JUMP.

as a final academic opus, a graduating gift to myself.

reading about the nebulous history of the cards, i was reminded once again of nomadic culture and my dry heaving slowly towards it.  with much loathing and minimal [yet formidable] ties to this suffocating towne, i would so love to GET. OUT. AND/AWAY.

thinking about the means of going about this, i began reading about established nomadic cultures – namely the Romanies in Britain – an unfortunately fading way of life considering the general shift away from agriculture as an industry.  what remains – horse trading, hawking, dukkerin?

what if i could live utterly minimally, WELL?  dukkerin as a bonafide vocation is the single most unrealistic idea i’ve certainly ever had but what if i were to get really good at it, like REALLY good.  graduate with a BFA, become a priestess kind of good.

it’s all very overwhelming and non-existent.

enough

 

in a strange exercise of living vicariously this way, i’ve drawn some of my ‘essential’ belongings [nail polish] in a series called ‘survival kits’.  i used to make lists of all the things i would take me in a moment’s notice, but drawing them is a bit more…fulfilling?  i’ve also been toying with the idea of sculptural vignettes of these – head phones, bus ticket, origami boat…

survival kits 01

 

or remain, walnut house wifeless.

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