Posts tagged ‘in progress’

February 23, 2011

Beauty #0

father pentacles

son pentacles

mother pentacles

10 cups


it all comes down to the strange fact that i am 2 days behind and 1 day ahead of myself.




February 19, 2011

Viscera Sky Highs

09 pentacles

09 swords

xix sun

xxi universe


i hear it’s spring break / reading week / etc


  • 4 cards / day
  • finish HIVE MIND
  • polish up GO
  • find a way to make TTFB look good and not fall apart
  • finish the quilt you started 4 years ago
  • finish the quilt you started yesterday
  • research paper
  • write paper



February 19, 2011

be // twee // n the // heatha // mphetamines

ix hermit

ace wands

daughter pentacles

xx judgement

ace pentacles


the dremes are coming on fast and thick – i cannot write them down quick enough.  slippery rock and architecture carved into the landscape is prevalent.


dried rose stems make for love spell wands.

i work badly collectively.

puncturing through tissue and equipping others for my filth.

brain’s on another wavelength as a :: a novel would have it.

more heathamphetamines, please.

February 16, 2011

i would die 4 U

03 swords

09 wands

xvii moon

evil moon / riki-kun

spent the better part of the day attempting to rescue the 3 of swords from a background disaster, and there’s not much i can do about it now, other than re-draw the entire card but i somehow refuse to do that today.

after a night of PURPLE RAIN, i return home and found these in my postal.


i am so infinitely pleased with them i went so far as to transform my very favourite textile into a tiny pouch for them.
violet fabric

i’ve been carrying around this tiny scrap of fabric – measuring at most 15×15 cm – for about 10 years.  salvaged from my mother’s scrap bin [she must have made a shirt from it many years ago, i unfortunately don’t remember].  i have never been able to find a textile quite like this again, so i knew it was special.  so sacred, the sacrifice to cut and sew this tiny little thing was frustrating.  it isn’t even large enough for a proper drawstring.  enough of that – i least i finally own something worthy of immortailizing violets on a black abyss.

February 15, 2011

Valentinian // Anadoxia

04 swords

08 pentacles

09 cups

xv baphomet

07 wands

05 cups

03 pentacles


between the tennesee tennis knee and a hilarious bout of the trembling bunnies, i somehow managed to draw 4 cards today, including our dearest BAPHOMET on this valentine’s day.

instead of boring you with my processes, i’m going to bore you with a dream i had last night.

i’m the eldest daughter of a nomadic tribe led by michael gira.  my name is oksana, as the eldest daughter of every tribe must be named oksana as every CHILD must be born in oksana, north dakota.  my family tribe travels around the world hanging signs – the huge ones that you see on the sides of highways and such.  at one part i am separated from my family while soliciting for people to advertise with us.  michael gira’s voice is ringing through my head YOU ARE OKSANA THE DAUGHTER OF DOXA.  REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE, REMEMBER THE ANADOXIA.  i am climbing up these very beautiful houses, white and silver and they are carved into cliffs, with very dark green coniferous trees gorwing out of them and forming other houses.  i am lost and i have lost my younger sisters and brothers that michael gira has trusted me with.  i am walking up and down and up and down these slippery wet white rock cliffs trying to get back to ‘the car’ but there are all these very old ladies dressed in crazy colours and piles of gold jewelry and i am all in black because i am ‘oksana’ and i must never forget.  i am now walking up this very cold snowy mountain holding a huuuge cloroplast sign and i can see my tribe at the top.  the sign is very unwieldy and am holding on very tight but the wind is blowing it up like a sail.  i finally reach the top after what feels like hours and my tribe climbs onto the sign and slides all the way down the mountain i just climbed and we do this like 5 times.

February 12, 2011

6 // 6 // 6

06 wands

06 swords

06 cups


i want to go there with you.

i’ve been pulling a lot of 6s lately, so it was only fitting to have today’s contribution be the 666 kind – an homage to the only 666 beast i know [crowley, of course – the man with the plan]

while i’ve really loved sketching and planning each composition, the backgrounds are the most time consuming and detract from the image.  granted, i haven’t pulled a major arcana in a few days so i’ve only been thinking in minor and trying to play them up a little, maybe too much?


victory of science happiness.  today’s reading was weird – calling for both victory and surrender.  for the most part, it never plays in my favour, so it will be interesting to see how the rest of this evening pans out…

February 12, 2011

emotional balance // oppression

10 wands


balanced oppression?  this is no complete breakfast, no simple bowl of wheaties.

truth be told, i don’t like surprises, have a grand dislike for secrets [secret societies don’t count as real secrets].  i am oppressed by my love of victorian literature and my need to waste time.

i am especially not a genius, i only try to not make boring art.  and fail.

ace cups

February 11, 2011

fear of failure // fear of success

07 pentacles

there are no accidents.

as i have FINALLY begun beginning the tarot project – my first completed card is  VII PENTACLES.  fear of failure / fear of success.

it all began … a long time ago.  the idea has always stirred within me, but it wasn’t until i started reading crowley’s ‘book of thoth’, that i said JUMP.

as a final academic opus, a graduating gift to myself.

reading about the nebulous history of the cards, i was reminded once again of nomadic culture and my dry heaving slowly towards it.  with much loathing and minimal [yet formidable] ties to this suffocating towne, i would so love to GET. OUT. AND/AWAY.

thinking about the means of going about this, i began reading about established nomadic cultures – namely the Romanies in Britain – an unfortunately fading way of life considering the general shift away from agriculture as an industry.  what remains – horse trading, hawking, dukkerin?

what if i could live utterly minimally, WELL?  dukkerin as a bonafide vocation is the single most unrealistic idea i’ve certainly ever had but what if i were to get really good at it, like REALLY good.  graduate with a BFA, become a priestess kind of good.

it’s all very overwhelming and non-existent.



in a strange exercise of living vicariously this way, i’ve drawn some of my ‘essential’ belongings [nail polish] in a series called ‘survival kits’.  i used to make lists of all the things i would take me in a moment’s notice, but drawing them is a bit more…fulfilling?  i’ve also been toying with the idea of sculptural vignettes of these – head phones, bus ticket, origami boat…

survival kits 01


or remain, walnut house wifeless.

April 23, 2010


The era of the giant question mark

looking back on the past 3 years is a rather dangerous one – but luckily with a relative age comes a relative perspective.  however imperfect, i climb back onto the creative saddle.  use it or lose it!  don’t mess with the mojo.

switching from the conceptual to the [ ____ ] *

* i don’t know how to describe my ‘regular’ or ‘nonacademic’ art – not for lack of concept, but the intent of forming differs enormously.  in honour of the project i contribute to whenever i please, so is my practice, BEDLAMIC.

sometime when i was working in the shawn b murphy studio i drafted up the original ‘or something’ banner out of butcher paper.  scrapping the script, i opted for block letters in black cotton on mixed textile patchwork.

or something banner phase 1

[clicking makes the picture grow to epic proportions]

this is not a thing, it is just a thing. i thought it would be … ‘fun’ or ‘funny’. or something. get it? 100% appropriate.

while i was switching applique colours, i noticed i kept resting my needle on the table or sticking it in a scrap fabric, making me lose the blasted thing more often than not.  i thought, why don’t i have a proper pincushion?  ive made on before but it keeps all my large tapestry needles now and my hack stuffing job makes it kinda crappy.  so right then and there i whipped up this little bad boy.

pin shadowe

this dude’s about 2″x2″, with a small waistband elastic going across allowing me to do this

if you liked it then you should have put a pincushion ring on it


please note the rgb panel acting as curtain in the background.  BITCH OOZES ART GLAMOUR.


speaking of…hands….aren’t they great?  i know this sounds lame and no one really cares about a shout out to my hands but really folks, without them everything would just be an idea in my head.  extra slovenly love to my left hand.  i shouldn’t get into details lest they lead to paranoia but i would be lost without them.  no doubt knitting, crocheting, sewing etc isnt impossible with my mouth or feet but i’ve spent so long already fine tuning my movements that losing them would be an intense experience.

i appreciate their ability to move, to take a beating and still look not too shabby.  even with all the scar tissue and flesh regrowth from the myriad accidents [there’s evidence of one in the right sidebar of this page, if you look close enough] i’ve endured over the years, they’ve kept their falsely narrow aesthetic.  the way my wrists cut into my laptop when i am typing this very sentence is welcome and familiar.  the way the vein pops in heat and dehydration in my left hand – an occurrence directly linked to the placement of the IV needle i had for my appendectomy when i was 10.  the way i obsess over the shape and length of my fingernails, and the way i keep my clippings in my pink sewing kit.  write with my left, cut with my right.  how i learned to crack my middle fingers, the tendons in my wrist are a personal sign of strength.  the inexplicable callouses on my pinkie fingers.  my wedding rings.  the way i grind the skin underneath my nails.  the width of my palms, the bend of my joints buckling under scar tissue.

here’s to you, heather’s hands.  live long and prosper.  make art, make art!

what’s next?
– embellish ‘or something’.  beads, and sequins.  going to town on the sequins.
– ‘musov shoko for judas’ applique
– that felt circle thing.  reqbat knows what i mean.
– finish the first few copies of CALIBRATION [i sure talk a lot about this blasted zine, i should just hurry up and post / list it already
– my mother’s 60th is quickly approaching.  celebrate it with the handmade glory she has worked so hard [or so easy] to make an integral part of my value system.

hopefully it won’t be several weeks until i post again, i want to take some photos of the wares i received from a trade with the lovely vedoluce ! i will wait till the sun is out again, to ease the process.

friday already?  204 am.  i cannot think of a better time to listen to zwan.