Posts tagged ‘mysticism’

December 3, 2009


i am pleased to announce the birth of a new mythology

[i have taken his name.  faecesbook notes H Elixabete Swimmerman-Utah]


Swimmerman is the new face of defeat, his pointed and sharp fingers pain both physically and psychologically.  nonsensical presence on dry land catches you unawares and nightmared.

underwater spoken smiling muffled heartbeat geometry.  bleeding.


if i had to commit suicide it would be drowning but Swimmerman slit his wrists centuries ago.

he is in the process of evolving gills.  his hair is made of worms, cutting you open and spawning your intestines to a new generation of boredom.

pen and immaturity

November 15, 2009



migraine // glare

This week i had the honor of experiencing a migraine – a disease i’ve been subjected to since i was 6 or so.  quite probably the one event that throws me into the depths of psychosis.  there is no cure, other than extensive preventative therapy.  that is – making sure i am not stressed, dehydrated, or hungry – eying my caffeine, blood sugar and sleep levels.  i’ve been pretty good at it since june 2008, but i slipped up this week and went to class with a headache which very quickly turned into an episode.

not cool, my friends, not cool one bit.

i make it to the bus stop, crying crying crying
agony on the bus, fluorescent lights yelling at me, multiple body odours
walking down st v, muttering to to myself
leaning against cafe olympico, puking puking puking
‘somebody call this girl an ambulance?’


2 angels appear out of the woodwork of rat city with a styrofoam cup and a strong arm to lean on
all the way home
a sincere ‘thank you’ between bile and tears


i empty my stomach of everything i’ve consumed in the past month or so
climb into my bed squeezing my eyes shut praying for sleep
a fitful one that lasted till 5 am


you cannot spell PAINT without PAIN i foreshadowed myself a few days prior
insert zomby girl now

how i shuffle between intense hunger and nausea i’ll never know
drawing with sarge, sewing, and applying to craft shows gets my thru this week of behindness

migraine // heptagon

love, mandalas, and hildegard de bingen
the polymath, woman of the world. a christian mystic, composer, linguist, philosopher, scientist of 2nd century germany, her artwork of her visions contained complex geometries of man and nature. these cosmologies came to her, supposedly, through migraines and were an integral part of her Scivias.

i can only hope that i can learn from this finding – knowing that painting consists of more than just pain.