a rather tragic amount of time has passed since my last real entry – mostly because i was incredibly uninspired, tired of school, and just tired in general. but as i was sitting on the ‘gin couch’ watching josie and the pussycats yesterday, i felt the urge to reach out and pick mbls again.
i’ve finally felt some redundant relevance here in the bog [since the xx post i have graduated university, written and published 4 zines, collaborated on 2 more, joined a yarnbombing collective and proceeded to move out of montreal! phew!], this relevance due mostly to my diabolically theological leanings and intrinsically synchretic lifestyle.
the creative process is a ficklefuck of a pickle, but i’ve finally reached a point where i can map out my methods on a solar and lunar calendar. those who know me know what i’m talking about when i say ‘holy shit sponge mode’. the most recent sponge has been combining my many sources of herbal, planetary, and colour correspondences into one mostly gender and intention neutral volume. FUN ! but i love my lore and superstitions and symbols and they deserve to be all together.
this is straying widely from my original intention, but my notes are pretty scattered tbh especially since i am now listening to traditional appalachian music so i’m never really ~here~, i have always been and always will be a bizarre oddity smattering the fringe theories of life, the universe and everything and like to think i have a slight grasp on the nature of pop culture and the relationships held in this circle.
for most of modernity’s mythologies now take place in light boxes which make one believe one is socializing while physically remaining in solitude. there’s a story about a person, taking the role of the ‘hero’, who attempts to play the role of the outsider. gains status of the inner circle, becomes disillusioned, and flees, or rather reverts to their former state. one is either in or out. happy mediums don’t exist in entertainment, but somehow the weirdo will prevail in all this. the weirdo wins in cinematic experience, but something is lost in translation.
our lives are not walking commercials no matter how often we might be told this. while many creative people do have to market themselves as a brand in order to reach their own level of success [infinite variable], it is considered ‘dirty’ because art must be noble and perfect and float about the material world while offering the world material objects. i am stuck on this point. i have become more sensitive and aware to the placement and role of advertisements now that i watch most of my beloved reality tv on the computer, where i can close any popups and not have my daisy of love interrupted by 3 minutes of wonkwonkwonk for every 5 minutes of showtime. these things are important to me – the changing role of hero worship dependent on progressive technologies should not i repeat not be spoiled. i will be a better person by observing psychologically behaviour in realtime, not by spending $10 on the most technologically advanced oral health system.
so why is it so effective? teenagers are surely not as empty and vapid as Big Money wants them to be. they are the last bastion of rebellion. if i can connect with a group of 13 year old boys when i’m ‘bombing, and they can see the value in my work [as valueless as it really is, these kinds of groups are my target audience] then i know i have succeeded in someway. there’s no subliminal messaging, there’s no fooling these monsters. we’ve lived every minute of our lives having been forced perfect life images upon us and yet no one lives this way. there’s a realization that no one knows what they’re doing AND ITS OKAY.
what’s not ok is having a place of constant one way dialogue. when defacing advertisements in public places, the defense is always for the ad. here we have a culture where pieces of paper and plastic have more rights and are valued more than the citizens who habit it!
so. what do we do? these bogs aren’t big enough for us all. the conversation is old, but there’s no resolution readily available, other than ‘know thyself’. stop victimizing yourself and take a risk on a homemade venture. i’ll pick up the ‘like art, god is a verb’ some other time. how do i still miss america after all this?
MIND/BODY/LIGHT/SOUND 
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